Sunday, February 12, 2006
Coping...
with a loss is never easy... whether it's a thing or person or wateva... be it ur favourite pair of footwear dat went missing the next morning bcoz u forgot to bring them in the nite before... or it cld be a fren or relative who chose to leave the ctry in search of greener pastures elsewer... a loss is often hard to handle... even if it's only momentary or replaceable... still for dat period of time when dat person /thing is not around... u feel an emptiness dats quite hard to explain... a mixture of longing, regret, hope...
i've been thru losses myself... losing stuff, losing people... or rather people who chose to walk out on me... hehe... ya i can laugh abt it now... but der were moments back then when i felt like the pain was unbearable... times when i had to cry myself to sleep... and the reason why i can go to slumberland was coz my body was too exhausted emotionally... and juz needed to shut down... thank goodness dat didnt went on for long... i mean not like for months and months... i was only in dat sorry state for like 2 weeks max... i've always been able to cope wif 'surprises' well... hehe... some people may see it as 'no heart' or 'takde feeling' or wateva... but i guess i'm juz not the kind to dwell on unhappy thoughts for long... i find it easy to pick myself up, get a grip and move on... focus on happier things... count my blessings...
i guess dat has helped me to cope wif the most recent loss... tho it did not come as a total shock... and we weren't exactly best buddies or soulmates... nonetheless der were enuf shared moments and memories to make his departure difficult to handle... i remember reading the sms in the staff room during my free period... tears juz kept on flowing and flowing... i cldn't even tink abt who i shld call or convey the news to... i dun tink i even replied to the person who smsed... i juz sat der and cried until another fren came into the staff room... and then we cried together...
his passing has made me (and hopefully my other frens) realize dat dis life truly is juz a 'loan'... and could be taken away from us anytime anywer... and we should always make the best of our time here in dis world... whether it is to be the best son/daughter to our parents, to be the best person dat we can be at work/school/to our frens and most importantly the best servant to HIM...
to all Muslim readers... marilah kita sedekahkan surah Al-Fatihah kepada Allahyarham Md Ibrahim Md Rashid... Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh nya... Amin...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Returning...
to the world of blogging... after soooo long... ya, ya... pple keep asking me if i am ever gonna update dis thing dat i've started... well here i am... in the staff rm... not quite finished with my marking... juz tired of it and decided to put it aside till tomoro... am waiting a call fr my tuition gerl's mum... not sure if today's session is on... cald her hp for confirmatn but no answer... cald her hse and her grandma said dey r not hm yet... hmmm wat shld i do... wat can i do... actually i noe wat i wanna do... i wanna go hm and play wif sakeenah... hehehehehe
let's see... wat has happened since i last made my appearance... months ago... hehehe... on the professional front, not so great but not too bad lah... shall not complain too much... juz go wif the flow ya... even tho i have to teach a subject which i absolutely detest and thought i would never have to come into contact with after my O levels... but nooooooo... life's not so easy and i'm not sooooo lucky ya... i'm trying to cope wif dat by reading beforehand... but cant quite get much of wat i'm reading... hehehehe... it's like my brain juz have dis wall to block itself from receiving any info remotely associated with science... goodness how am i gonna see thru the next 10 mths or so...
on the not so professional front... actually, not professional at all... more like personal or wateva category u can tink of lah... the year started pretty good... went to the BSB concert wif a fren... and boy did we enjoy urselves!!! hehehe... some of u may be shaking ur head and go like "wat the ...? backstreet boys?!?! kental nye..." but i dun care... i waited 10 yrs for dis and it was really worth the wait... they stil look good and dey still sound good... then again, i dun think dey can ever sound baaaad...
on the personal (read:love life) front.... well, ders noting much to share... or nothing at all it seems... hehehehe... so my agents kawin2... do ur job... hehehehe... new recommendations welcomed... but honestly ( and sadly, may i add) i tink i may juz have lost the steam... to like go thru the whole getting-to-noe-u process... the starting from scratch... i've been thru it like soooo many times i'm getting tired of telling more abt myself to yet another guy who is gonna like disappear in approximately the next 2 mths or so... hehehe... kinda shitty but dats the way it is... pple say dat all dis jodoh thing is fated or tertulis or wateva... u get wat i mean... but then again, if u dun try, u never noe rite... u gotta make the effort... surely der has to be some usaha on ur part... u cant juz sit on ur ass and hope for ur life partner to drop before u... dats crazy... hehe.... jatuh dari langit... then again... sometimes u feel like u've given ur all but it's still not enuf and u wonderrrr... wat does it take to make a person stay wif u... hmmm will i ever get an answer to dat.... dun hold ur breath... it may take longer than u tink... hehe
no news yet from tuitionkid's mom... i really really wanna go hm and play wif my cheeky lil niece... but i bet when i step out of the sch and is juz abt to reach my blk... my hp will vibrate and i receive news dat the lesson is indeed on... oh crap... please dun let dat happen...